The word according to Easty:
Well, we were back again at what has to be said our second home. Our local. Who knows, why but we were at Greenbank again for yet another grand old fixture. It was make or break for the Dingoes and everyone knew what was at stake – the opportunity to right a horrible wrong that was last Friday.
Thankfully this week we had three referees that didn’t require the players making the calls for them. We got off to a great start with Beenleigh coming out in their home jersey, which is a rip of the Uni maroon kit. A serious problem, but the General foresee Beenleigh being wankers and had it covered with our back up away/retro/same f’n numbers (poor old Abesh was 41!) kit so we knew who was who out there.
Uni undoubtedly played their strongest side with Josh (Krusty the Clown, Wolftmother and Fluffy) and the Maltese Magic up front, Alex and MP in the middle with Hadley and Bogard up the wings and the reliable Jack and Nut in the centre of the D with Tristan and Witwicky on the flanks. As always, the cool calm and collected TC was in between the sticks.
We all had a nervous energy before kick off but with a starting team like that you have to wonder why? To make the game go even more into our favour one of the Beenleigh blokes had what has to be said one of the best brain explosions of all time. After winning a throw in following a 50/50 with the determined Nut, which he got the better of via a fair shoulder charge, he decided to knee him in the head while he was down (?). To make it better it was right in front of the linesman and the ref. So within 2 minutes Beenleigh had a bloke up early at the bar buying the drinks but he’ll have to wait another 88 minutes before he could buy anyone of his mates some loser’s piss. “He must be devo after that” as Chris would say.
However, back on the bench, we knew of a similar story that happened the week prior and we all know what happened then…(Springfield have a name made for you clowns – ‘lucky’). This week however, we seemed much cooler on the ball, with better play through the middle and no nonsense at the back, plus Josh and Chris playing fantastic up front. They must have filled in some of the cavernous pot holes out there or something…
Chris started the trend hitting the post with a beautiful left foot strike “Messing by an ina” as ol Abesh would say. Then as is the norm, Chris had a wee bit of a temper tantrum; probably stemming from driving past all the KFC’s on the hour long drive to the Farawaybank (NSW?) and only allowed to have Bogard’s oranges (good work there Bogard). This must have fired up the young Maltese Magician.
Good football led up to our first goal and with Beenleigh unable to control Josh, decided that if you cant beat him, just push him over and hack the bone. Naturally, a dot shot ensued. To rub salt in the Beenleigh wounds, Josh took the kick and as he does, coolly slotted it home for a Gordon-like finish.
For the rest of the half we got too complacent and just couldn’t put away any of the half chances that came our way. Thankfully half time came, and it couldn’t come fast enough.
After a good chow down on Bogard’s fabulous oranges we got back to business. Not long after the break Josh smashed in a second using his previously non-existent left foot. Now Joshy is not someone you would call loquacious, but he was punching air and jeering the keeper like an afro headed Bal Kalley. An awesome sight and it must have had an impression on the squad because from that moment on, the Dingoes went for the throat.
The large gaps appearing in their defence was likened to the distance between Brisbane and wherever it is that Greenbank is – a big f’n gap basically. As always, Easty couldn’t buy a goal and that would explain the third goal where Alex took it upon himself and put away our third single handed. We still had enough time for one more Messina dummy spit as well, after which he was promptly hooked off the field.
We could have had several more goals in that second period except Easty had the touch of a rapist and zero confidence in front of goal. Abesh was just getting smashed in back play and they had a keeper that was just having the game of his life. You could also forgive our keeper TC for being a little too cool in goal, receiving a simple header and pushing it into the bar. The poor bastard was probably just bored – I think he touched the ball three times all game.
Honestly though, you couldn’t fault anyone – the backs were great and Mr Anderson and Bal came on from the bench and played excellent in defence with Tristo and Witwicky resting. Yet the ‘men’ of the match had to be Alex and MP, both cleaning up the middle of the park and picking it like a dirty nose with anything Beenleigh had, which was fuck all. Joshy too, was like a force of nature out there and deserving of an especially honourable mention.
A superb result from the Dingoes – grand final here we come! Greenbank – can you give us a ‘Green and Yellooooooow? No, because you will be ‘Sucking yourselves off slowly’ next Friday.
PS Notice how Jon was not mentioned at all? That’s because he was about as useful as a doodle flavoured lolly pop.