Well, the Dingoes achieved something Friday night (20 August) that they had been trying to do since forming in 2007 – beat Celtic FC. It finally happened.

Admittedly, neither team fielded their all star starting 11 as both squads were already assured of a finals berth. BUT, neither of us wanted to lose either – too much pride at stake for that.

The Dingoes started well, but within 5 minutes we were on the defensive playing a lot of football in our own half – something that would become the dominate feature of the game. However, our counter attack was good and we seemed to have some of our luck back. Not that luck had anything to do with the first goal, with Marty receiving a crisp through ball into the 18 yard, skinning the sweeper and keeper who came off the line – cool as you like, low and straight into the net. Not too shabby for his first go on strike all year.

Celebrations over, the Dingoes were back into it again with the flow of the game a little less one-sided in terms of possession for most of the first half. However, there was no denying Celtic still enjoyed more time in our half. I know TC certainly knew it – the poor bugger was performing at his best in between the sticks. What a player.

Now, as good as he is, poor old TC cant use mind control on Josh East, which would have been good when a corner kick was belted in and poorly cleared – only for a lurking gap player to pounce upon it. Not much old TC could do about it. Fair goal and highlighted the need for one man out between the 6 and 18 yard lines.

Half time and both sides off for a drink at 1-1.

The second half resumed much the same, including the usual dubious referring decisions – both ways. The backline was tested again and again, with TC and the fullbacks pulling off some great play. However, The Gap are not a team to back off or play for a draw and very nearly made it 2-1 following a scrap in front of the 6 yard box. The Gap smacked the ball into the net and were off celebrating, but unfortunatelyfor them they were not as loud as the Dingoes cries of ‘hand ball’, which was most unusually, but most sportingly, confirmed with a confession from the goal scorer himself. Not to be easier swayed, the ref decided to have a little walk and think about it before deciding to award the goal. Finding wisdom in the back of the net, the goal was disallowed – then Celtic got loud. Hey, we would have spat too.

Anyway, that turned out to the wake up call we needed and Dingoes were on the attack again. Navid was very unlucky not to score again – even with the ball on his left! – but he took one touch that turned out too many allowing the keeper to launch himself cross goals to make the save. Good effort actually.

Now, the score is 1-1, we are 20min from full time and the gameplay is locked. What would any good General do? He would take Easty off is what he would do. Jokes aside, poor bugger has been away for 3 weeks with a crook ankle drinking grog. The real genius was who was going on for him in strike – someone not even the Gap could plan for. The Peacemaker. His instructions were clear – run your guts out and make as much peace as you can for 10mins. True to form, Tando did exactly that and was the catalyst leading to the Dingoes glorious second and winning goal.

Tando went wide, received the ball from the centre, dragged to players in and then put through a cracking pass through to the Prince, who wound up leaving the celtic back line well behind. Getting close to the 6 yard, Princy ‘passed’ the ball hard to the keeper, who couldnt hang onto it – luckily Tando was there in support but was unfortunate not to score himself. No it was young Jacko taking the glory and cracking the ball into the open net. 2-1 Dingoes, Navid squealing, sideline happy. Awesome.

With 5 minutes to go, the Gap were not done and without good old TC there to crush anything they had, it would probably be a draw. A late cross found a celtic head that was unlucky not to find the top right, just going high and wide. The Dingoes then slowed it down, regained composure and finished the match.

2-1 and first win against the Celtic outfit ever. Great opposition, good play and excellent conditions to sing a well earned song. Can’t wait to sing it again after the Semi against North Pine in three weeks.

Well, I have seen the Dingoes play some ordinary football – and this game was close to their worst. Sometimes we just seem to suffer from our awesomeness – complacency has been the culprit to a number of Dingo losses over the years. Despite the prep talk about not expecting to flog Mitchelton 8-0 like last time, the boys went out expecting a win again.

30min in and Mitchelton had snagged a long-range hit and hope goal aided by a good gust of wind. Can’t really take it away from them – the defense was all over the shop and they got lucky. After a half time, we managed to get one back thanks to Mr Handford who was for once not at a 21st or music festival. Odd considering Splendour was on that weekend. He must be getting old as the prospect of jumping the Splendour fence usually cant be denied. Anyway, it was a lucky turn of events for the squad as Witwicky managed to equalise us with some beautifully scrappy work in the 6 yard box. Mongrel of the match.

This was also after Mitchelton had a man sent off for nearly yanking Navid off his feet when he was about to shoot – whoever that dude was, he saved Mitchelton from losing. We also got unlucky hitting the underside of the bar (Tristo I think?) but then backed that up with a goal line clearance from a Mitchelton free kick (Tristo again). Mitchelton almost got the winner before full time as well, with a mistake at the back resulting in a chip kick that hit the bar. Tense times.

What to take away from it all? Well, let’s just hope this was the kick in the guts we needed leading into the finals. Sure, winning this might have given us a home semi-final but I dont care where we beat North Pine.

Saturday 10 July.

Dingoes play against the Indooroopilly Doodle Bugs (and vice versa) at Doodle Bugs’ home stadium at Indro, I think we refer to it as doodle town.

Absent: Hadley Perkins, Tom Hanford, Navid Shariat.

Unable to play due to injury: David Crowley, Martin Packer.

Swine flu: Mick Packer.

Slack/drunk but played: me.

Thanks again to the met 6 guys who stepped in for us (again) – these people were Donkey, Tommo and Rats-tail. Nice head but in the second half Rats-tail.

Well what can I say, goal frenzy, does anyone know if that is the football Brisbane or met 5 at least record? Final score, dingo with 19 goals, Doodle bugs: zero (as a result of Tando’s second own goal for the season). I think I have the breakdown correct and if I don’t that is not really my problem, see the following:

Rylan: 3 goals, nice bicycle kick on that third one also.

Peanut: 4 Goals.

TC: One magnificent goal coming out of the goal and scoring as keeping, amazing, for those who missed the game, what can I see it was very impressive, I felt like blowing one of DCs stupid African horns. I met DCs sister last night also, awesome.

J.East: 2 fair goals that clearly defy description.

Bal – off the nudie with 1. 

Sig – off the nudie? Can’t remember if you got one or two and whether you were still on the nudie

Cam: No goals, useless, hungover again, still queued for the nude run, yep. Better start the pumping campaign.

Other than that the other goals were not so memorable with the exception of, dare I say it, the Toowong Bowls club player of the match, recipient of the bug mug’o’beer, yes that’s right folks in his return game…. John Rivera with three outstanding goals, I think as Josh Eastern-Medicine called to – the perfect hat trick, one off the left, one off the right, one off the head. Outstanding. Climbing Kilamanjaro has really improved his fitness out of sight. Anyway great game JR.

Other goals are insignificant so get screwed goal scorers.

Notable incidents: how about that number thirteen who looked like a fat extra terrestrial Elvis impersonator, pretty sneaky pulling sigs pants down in back play, whats that like a red card and a four week suspension or something, lucky Gordo had the camera rolling for that one and fortunately Sig had is ‘A’ jock strap on as he called it, lucky it wasn’t his voltron boxers. Nice beard too Andy. Good party tonight also, unfortunately civilised.

Navid you missed a killer game, you would have scored about a zillion goals.

Training – seven or eight people turned up, play some med student faguars, I had a tanty about being a loser.

 That’s allo for now.

Also while I remember, Jack Downey’s smurf tattoo is ridiculous, I think that one might be a mistake, papa smurf is probably not the best cartoon character to get tattooed on one’s bottom, but oh well.

 Further reading –

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antlion

&

The Indooroopilly Doodle Bugs

Mr Mac’s extended match report – date – last week

 Version: key point form 

• Firstly Danny B is in my roof fixing the lights
• Game – again, not our best work
• Marty Packer, sidelined with a bad case of facial hair, not ideal
• Luke Smith, not happy about various things, reluctant to swear in front of his mum
• Josh East, he is okay
• Ben correctly states – Dave Crowley absent with a case of adultery. He hurt his leg at training too
• Tando – “calmed him down” using an aggressive arm/head/spine lock, notably: fight started by Tom H
• Tando/Cam @ bowls club – cam – “stop throwing glasses on turf idiot” (said to idiot), man arcs up, turn around, Tando already there ready to “calm him down”, Danny B, Downtown, Cam, Tando make hastey exit through rear entrance. Danny B likes a bit of haste in the rear entry. Went to party, good looking girls, Downex – drunk
• Game again – I am claiming that second goal was entirely my fault or at least 99%, that other 1% was TC for not doing something impossible. Nice one TC. Loser. Always letting us down
• Ben is sitting over my shoulder while I write this, funny how it gets offensive when he is here.
• That bloke had a buck tooth grin too, I am not happy he scored on Bal’s watch
• Easty is a tool
• Rivers is a tool as well, I am talking about Doc Rivers from the NBA, i don’t know anyone else named Rivers, in any capacity, at all, whatsoever, especially Jon River, which is a name I just made up, plucked out of thin air, should hypothetically this person exist he doesn’t reply to my personal emails. Plus I beat him in tipping and I didnt participate
• I don’t reckon that man on man defence arrangement went so well, probably should rehearse before implementing, I didn’t know what the hell I was doing
• Training good on Wednesday. Mostly everyone came along again. Spiritually Madagascar won the world cup again, with love, every time. Go Easty
• Match report, worst ever, typed in generic wordpad, not even MS word. Fail. No green lines, no red lines, my Ingli is average
• Brad North sidelined. Geelong. Random weather
• Lets win the next few games eh, seriously I watch Navid’s passion and I feel like I am letting him down but I am trying my best, is everyone? Ghey sounding, yep
• Injuries – Peanut – hit in the face, had a band aid on, feel free to refer to him as Nelly, someone was on the sideline, appropriate. Sig – Blood nose, blood mouth, bled all over the jerseys and that. Yep i liked it
• Its getting hot in herre
• XXXX gold
• Sig spent four hours cooking beef Madras on Wednesday
• Reasonable side line turn out
• That dweeb getting a message from his femme-dweeb was pretty amusing, they should get some more cardigans and have one glass of merlot per week. Their Corolla does not have an Ipod dock I am guessing, I am sure they have a decent array of tissues in that car but. I reckon she would be a freak in the bed though
• Womanising
• Rylan was good down the flank, did a few good things. Rylan should hang out with Crowley
• Field we played on seems to range from being dusty to muddy. Should call the groundsmen. An-drew!!!!!
• That is all
• Game tomorrow is 3pm somewhere in Crisaboe, starting line up according to me is:

Backs: Shaquille Oneal.

Goal: Super Mario Bros 3.

We won this game in the 94th minute – this video about sums it up really. Sorry TC.